What is the main purpose of a business?
a. to make yourself a lot of money
b. help your buyer solve a problem.
if you choose 'a", then you should shut up shop and rob banks.
If you choose "b", then you should find out how you can help your customers. Ask them. Don't go round offering over priced quotes, no way customers will buy from you if you are not helping them solve their problem.
Every transation involves some sort of risk. many Chinese factory are just reluctant to take any risk. They expect the buuyer to take all risk, no wonder your buyer wants to screw you overa nd over again.
Business is about long term relationship, we help each other make money. So what is the first order is very small? So what if you don't make a lot of money in the first order?
Remember, no often customers will out lay a big order on their first purchase. They start small and slowly ramp up their order.
Don't make the same mistake like evreyone else. Be humble and take the small order.