It has come to our attention recently that many of you have been turning in time sheets that specify large amounts of "Miscellaneous Unproductive Time" (Code 5309). However, we need to know exactly what you are doing during your unproductive time.

Attached below is a sheet specifying a tentative extended job code list based on our observations of employee activities.

The list will allow you to specify with a fair amount of precision what you are doing during your unproductive time. Please begin using this job-code list immediately and let us know about any difficulties you encounter.




Thank you,

Accounting

Attached: Extended Job-Code List

Code Descrription

5316 Useless Meeting

5317 Obstructing Communications at Meeting

5318 Trying to Sound Knowledgeable While in Meeting

5319 Waiting for Break

5320 Waiting for Lunch

5321 Waiting for End of Day

5322 Vicious Verbal Attacks Directed at Coworker

5323 Vicious Verbal Attacks Directed at Coworker While Coworker is Not Present

5393 Covering for Incompetence of Coworker Friend

5400 Trying to Explain Concept to Coworker Who is Not Interested in Learning

5401 Trying to Explain Concept to Coworker Who is Stupid

5402 Trying to Explain Concept to Coworker Who Hates You

5481 Buying Snack

5482 Eating Snack

5500 Filling Out Time sheet

5501 Inventing Time sheet Entries

5502 Waiting for Something to Happen

5503 Scratching Yourself

5504 Sleeping

5510 Feeling Bored

5511 Feeling Horny

5600 Complaining About Lousy Job

5601 Complaining About Low Pay

5602 Complaining About Long Hours

5603 Complaining About Coworker (See Codes #5322 & #5323)

5604 Complaining About Boss

5605 Complaining About Personal Problems

5640 Miscellaneous Unproductive Complaining

5701 Not Actually Present At Job

5702 Suffering from Eight-Hour Flu

6102 Ordering Out

6103 Waiting for Food Delivery to Arrive

6104 Taking It Easy While Digesting Food

6200 Using Company Resources for Personal Profit

6201 Stealing Company Goods

6202 Making Excuses After Accidentally Destroying Company Goods

6203 Using Company Phone to Make Long-Distance Personal Calls

6204 Using Company Phone to Make Long-Distance Personal Calls to Sell Stolen Company Goods

6205 Hiding from Boss

6206 Gossip

6207 Planning a Social Event (e.g. vacation, wedding, etc.)

6210 Feeling Sorry For Yourself

6211 Updating Resume

6212 Faxing Resume to Another Employer/Headhunter

6213 Out of Office on Interview

6221 Pretending to Work While Boss Is Watching

6222 Pretending to Enjoy Your Job

6223 Pretending You Like Coworker

6224 Pretending You Like Important People When in Reality They are 

6238 Miscellaneous Unproductive Fantasizing

6350 Playing Pranks on the New Guy/Girl

6601 Running your own Business on Company Time (See Code #6603)

6602 Complaining

6603 Writing a Book on Company Time

6611 Staring Into Space

6612 Staring At Computer Screen

6615 Transcendental Meditation

6969 Beating off in Broom Closet

7281 Extended Visit to the Bathroom (at least 10 minutes)

7400 Talking With Divorce Lawyer on Phone

7401 Talking With Plumber on Phone

7402 Talking With Dentist on Phone

7403 Talking With Doctor on Phone

7404 Talking With Masseuse on Phone

7405 Talking With House Painter on Phone

7406 Talking With Personal Therapist on Phone

7419 Talking With Miscellaneous Paid Professional on Phone

7425 Talking With Mistress/Boy-Toy on Phone

7931 Asking Coworker to Aid You in an Illicit Activity

8000 Recreational Drug Use

8001 Non-recreational Drug Use

8002 Liquid Lunch

8100 Reading e-mail

8102 Laughing while reading e-mail

DR. SUESS COMPUTES  Quoted from www.enchantedmind.com

If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,

And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,

And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,

Then the socket packet pocket has an error to report!

If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,

And the double-clicking icons put your window in the trash,

And your data is corrupted 'cuz this index doesn't hash,

Then your situation's hopeless, and your system's gonna crash!

If the label on your cable on the gable at your house,

Says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,

But your packets want to tunnel to another protocol,

That's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall,

And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss,

So your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse,

Then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,

'Cuz sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang!

When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy on the disk,

And the microcode instructions cause unnecessary RISC,

Then you have to flash your memory and you'll want to RAM your ROM,

Quickly turn off your computer and be sure to tell your mom!

Quoting from [Elisha]:

DR. SUESS COMPUTES  Quoted from www.enchantedmind.com

If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port,


And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort,


And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort,


Then the socket packet pocket has an error to report!

If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash,


And the double-clicking icons put your window in the trash,


And your data is corrupted 'cuz this index doesn't hash,


Then your situation's hopeless, and your system's gonna crash!

If the label on your cable on the gable at your house,


Says the network is connected to the button on your mouse,


But your packets want to tunnel to another protocol,


That's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall,

And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss,


So your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse,


Then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang,


'Cuz sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang!

When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy on the disk,


And the microcode instructions cause unnecessary RISC,


Then you have to flash your memory and you'll want to RAM your ROM,


Quickly turn off your computer and be sure to tell your mom!

Thank you,

The materials tells us the truth about large corporations.

Here, we learn never to visit a company 30 minutes before 12 noon. Even if we got there at 11:30, we have to report to Security, fill up forms as who we want to see, and our particulars. Then proceed to walk towards the Receptionist, and ask for the Miss So and so.  Oh, she is on medical leave, last minute emergency. So who is next? the next person, he does not know about this delivery. Go straight to the stores.

Where is the store? As we walked towards the store, time: 11:45, we saw groups of people leaving the building, rows of un-uniformed staffs, and one of them asked the receptionist: What do you want to have for lunch?" You hit the nail on its head - 15 minutes before is lunch time already. But I thought she said 12:00 Noon.

Not only lunch time, there is tea break at 10:00 AM and Coffee Break at 3:00 PM. Before the day end, it is another 15 minutes for changing and brushing up, some shower time for those working in the field.

Street

 

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8001 Non-recreational Drug Use


8002 Liquid Lunch


8100 Reading e-mail


8102 Laughing while reading e-mail