I'm feeling all guilty right now because I have beaten my 1 year 9 months old son. I've spanked him on his butt 3 times, then on his left hand 3 times and pushed him on the bed twice.

It all started when he wanted to go to the living room and I did not let him to because it's already time for him to take his afternoon nap. Then he threw tantrums and forced him self to cry just to annoy me and give in to his whims. But I wanted to discipline him because I didn't want him to grow as a spoiled brat so I said no. Then he kept crying and screaming that must have irritated his throat and then he threw up on our bed covers, which I have just changed. I got so furious because I was feeling sleepy and I wanted to rest while he is asleep. But now I can't because I had to clean up his mess and change the covers all over again, which I thought would have not happen if only he listened to me when I was asking him nicely, for a few times, to just lay down with me, drink his milk, and sleep and I promised him that we will play again in the living room when we wake up.

After cleaning the mess and changing the covers, I talked to my son, this time no longer mad, and I explained to him why I had to beat him. I told him I wouldn't want anything to harm him and the more that I don't want to be the one to give him harm. This is the second time that I've spanked him more than once and it makes me feel so guilty afterwards and I even cried my self after the first time I did it. And after that first time I told my self I would exert a conscious effort in stretching more patience so that I won't do anything that I would regret later on.

It's been months now since that first time and today I just lost it again.

Do you think I'm a bad mother? What do you do to keep your temper? I would appreciate your opinion, advice, and perhaps you could share your experience too.

Now I'm a grandpa and many things look different, but when I was a young dad I might have acted the same way. In the end you did the right thing, which is, making your son understand that there is a need for discipline in this life.

Ideally you might have acted in a more "elegant" way, but hardly anything is "elegant" in real life. So don't question and torture yourself. Just keep an open mind, and improve little by little. You are a human being after all!

I am 23 this year and i have never been beaten by my parents, not even once. Some friends of mine consider me as lucky. I asked my mother why had she never beaten me before and she told me she need not to. I could not really recall it but there was a book where i read about a children's behavior  is not how we shape them. It is mostly born with.  Therefore my parents believed that caring  is much more effective then scolding in terms of teaching a children. And I believed that you do not intend to beat your son. You was probably too tired and stressed up from working =)


p/s: my mother used to work 3 jobs a day and she hardly have any time to spend with me. I would still feel very happy if i could sit beside her and look at her quietly while she work. Although your son is just 1 yr and 9 months old, try to understand what's his need and why is he trying to make you mad. He was probably hoping to get some attention from you, who knows.


Cheers.

You don't need to feel upset. Your son won't remember that once his mammy beaten him because he didn't want to nap.

That's really a hard job to take care a baby nowadays. It's normal that you feel tired.

I am not a mother yet. However, I used to be a baby sitter. When I was in high school, I spent all my free time with my nephew. I am dare to say I did a better job than his mommy.

I cried with him a few times. But I never heat him even if I didn't have any sleep all night long. How can I do that? Because I always remember that all are because of my baby is healthy. He is "overactive", he wants to go here and there, he has character, he will cry and outcry... all are because he is very healthy.

There is a 9-month-old baby next house. He is quiet, lovely, nice. But he has tumour in his left foot. He has no energy to cry, to go everywhere...

So what do you think now? Don't you feel happy even if you don't have enough sleep?

I used to have a twin brother. He was quiet. He left us.

I really hope that my baby will be an elvish, piquant one. So that I am sure he/she is healthy and clever!

What a mother wants most?

Will you feel better when you son being "hateful" next time?

 

It is not good to hit your child in anger.  You must be in control of yourself when you deal with your child.  I am afraid that you over did it.

Quoting from [lelele]:

 

Dear lelele, you don't feel guilty.

Takecare your children with love ....& no hit , no violence 

 

 

i think you do not need to feel guilty. if you alwasy let your kids do what they want to do .they will be spoiled so easily. that's not good for his future life. some times you have to be strict.  maybe he hates you so much after you beated him. but after he grows up,he will know why you beated him when he was yong .so do not take to heart ,you are his mom.

what are you talking about ?