1. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
2. It's always darkest before dawn. So if you're going to steal your neighbor's newspaper that's the time to do it.
3. Give a man the fire and you'll keep him warm for one day. Set the man on fire -- and you'll keep him warm for the rest of his life.
4. No one is listening until you make a mistake.
5. Good judgement comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgement.
6. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works.
7. Generally speaking, you aren't learning much when your mouth is moving.
8. Never miss a good chance to shut up.