This one is from a dear friend of my;

An octopus walks into a bar and says "I can play any musical instrument you

like."


The English man gives it a guitar which it plays better than Jimmy Hendrix.


The Irish man gives it a piano which it plays better than Elton John.


The Scottish man throws it a set of bagpipes.

The octopus fumbles about for a couple of minutes and the Scotsman say

"What's wrong, can ye no play it?"


The octopus says "Play it? I'm going to **** her brains out once I get her

pajamas off!!"

Replying to [MbM]:Sadie had been widowed for a few years and very lonely, and finally consented to going out on a date with Smith, the gentleman her daughter fixed her up with.

Smith picked up her and they went on a picnic in a very secluded spot. Smith also had been widowed for a long time and found himself very attracted to Sadie, and despite her resistance at first to his advances, he finally was able to make love to her.

Sadie was mortified at her lack of self control and sobbed, "I don't know how I can face my daughter, knowing in a time of weakness, I sinned twice!"

Smith said "What do you mean "twice" we only did it once?"

Sadie looked at Smith and said, "...Well, you're going to do it again, aren't you?