I have been with my boyfriend for four years, and we currently live together. In more ways than not, we're like a married couple, although we don't have a joint ****.

Everyone is pushing me to get married, but I don't want to! It seems like being in a committed, long-term relationship without the pressure of marriage just has so much less responsibility and drama.

I guess I'm just happy with the way things are, and though I would never write it off completely, I know marriage isn't something that I need or want right now. But it seems like everywhere I look, my friends are getting married or expecting me to announce my engagement; I feel strange being a girl who doesn't want to get hitched. Is there something wrong with me that I'm not more excited by the prospect of a wedding?

Well, "wrong" might be too strong, but you are evidently insecure. From what you are saying, I can't tell if it is regarding yourself or regarding your partner. So the best thing for you to do is observing and analyzing the situation, and making the right decisions. Ok, you also have to have the guts to carry them out...

Quoting from [oillio]:

I have been with my boyfriend for four years, and we currently live together. In more ways than not, we're like a married couple, although we don't have a joint bank account.

Everyone is pushing me to get married, but I don't want to! It seems like being in a committed, long-term relationship without the pressure of marriage just has so much less responsibility and drama.

I guess I'm just happy with the way things are, and though I would never write it off completely, I know marriage isn't something that I need or want right now. But it seems like everywhere I look, my friends are getting married or expecting me to announce my engagement; I feel strange being a girl who doesn't want to get hitched. Is there something wrong with me that I'm not more excited by the prospect of a wedding?

There's nothing wrong with you so no worry, it's just that you don't think you are ready for it yet. Maybe you feel still insecure? Or somehow you don't want to get into a "bond" yet.

Take some time out and discuss this with your bf and also try to set a timeframe on it.

Quoting from [oillio]:

I have been with my boyfriend for four years, and we currently live together. In more ways than not, we're like a married couple, although we don't have a joint bank account.

Everyone is pushing me to get married, but I don't want to! It seems like being in a committed, long-term relationship without the pressure of marriage just has so much less responsibility and drama.

I guess I'm just happy with the way things are, and though I would never write it off completely, I know marriage isn't something that I need or want right now. But it seems like everywhere I look, my friends are getting married or expecting me to announce my engagement; I feel strange being a girl who doesn't want to get hitched. Is there something wrong with me that I'm not more excited by the prospect of a wedding?

Nobody can understand why you won't want to get married, except yourself. In this age of so-called gender equality, nobody loses out from the arrangement you are having now. As long as you are comfortable, so be it.

But there is always certain things yo have to really gave a thought.

A guy when he is into the forty or even later part in life can easily find a companion. But for a woman, when she entered her forties or some evne say their late thirties, they may have difficulties finding a mate.

Now, it is perfectly alright if the girl feel she can bear with it, many ladies are living alone and are comfortable with it. Of course personally I felt it is awful staying alone. Even if you are very active, there will be time you need someone around.

And, if you planned to stay single, you will have to be financially stable to support yourself and have someone to assist you in emergency cases. Sound like travial matter, but I have seen lots of cases where you need someone around and found none. I have my share of such experience when i was working oversea, I felt so sick and weak and couldn't even reach the phone for help.

Western societies, Japan included have so call retirement home, even if you can find this kind of home in China in future (I not sure they have it now) , I am not sure if everyone of us like to stay in one.

Some people are meant to be single and for such people, I will hope they planned well for their future. And kindly understand that when people advise you to get married, they have your welfare at heart, so be thankful.

Enjoy your life to the fullest, life is so transient.

Quoting from [oillio]:

 I agree with rgs_frankyeo's opinion. I think you must think further , because your boyfriend when he is into the forty or even later part in life or boring with you ( sorry )  can easily find a new young girl for him. but you may have difficulties finding a mate.

but this is your life, after you analyzing this, I hope you make the right decisions.

cheers

Quoting from [davadi]:

Quoting from [oillio]:

 I agree with rgs_frankyeo's opinion. I think you must think further , because your boyfriend when he is into the forty or even later part in life or boring with you ( sorry )  can easily find a new young girl for him. but you may have difficulties finding a mate.

but this is your life, after you analyzing this, I hope you make the right decisions.

cheers

 

Quoting from [davadi]:

Quoting from [oillio]:

 I agree with rgs_frankyeo's opinion. I think you must think further , because your boyfriend when he is into the forty or even later part in life or boring with you ( sorry )  can easily find a new young girl for him. but you may have difficulties finding a mate.

but this is your life, after you analyzing this, I hope you make the right decisions.

cheers

 

Think about in below :

example you open registration ; and then do you know what happened???

thousand of boy/man will register. why???

because you offer living together without commitment

but if you a man and then what happened???

only 1% of thousand girl / woman will register.

I normally never post comments but I felt that I had to after reading the comments others posted.  There is nothing (NOTHING) wrong with you at all.  Personally, I find the idea that you are insecure in your relationship and that is the reason you do not want to marry absurd. Insecurity is why a majority of people get married, because they do not want the other person to leave them, they don't want to be alone or they believe that they will find their security in marriage.  I know so many women who have inadvertently (by pregnancy, ultimatiums etc.) forced their boyfriends to marry them and they are now currently divorced, divorcing, cheating on their spouse or being cheated on by their spouse. 

Don't buy into what other people think about your relationship.  I personally have gone through this - I have been with the same man for 8 years.  I watched all (and I mean all) of my girlfriends get married and have babies and they kept asking me "When are you going to get married".  Out of 10 marriages - only 3 are not divorced or in the process of divorce.  

Me and my man are incredibly happy - we are best friends, we work & live together (and have for 8 years so this isn't something new) and I wouldn't want to change anything.  We attend weddings together and we also allow our friends to use our shoulders to cry on when they are getting divorced. 

If you feel comfortable with your relationship its fine.  A healthy relationship is a beautiful thing - whether or not you put the label of "marriage" onto it. 

By the way - my man is 47 and I am 33 do you guys think he will trade me in for a younger model in his 40s????  That was such a lame comment that just prays upon the fear of being alone which is not a good reason to get married!