Jokes for you... Hope & Wish your day start with smiles.
![[em2]](http://img.alibaba.com/images/eng/style/icon/emoticons_laugh.gif){kind=icon}
Post 43 of 55
Replying to [Ammeet]:
GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest. BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I want to share Everything with you. Your JOYS, Your SADNESS, Your HAPPY MOMENTS Every single second of day Let us START with your ATM Password first.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dating process: 6 weeks : I love U, I love U, I love U. 6 months : Of course I love U. 6 years : GOD, if I didn't love U, then why the * did I propose?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
There is always a "DRIVE SLOW" board near boy's schools, but n ot near girl's college.. Why? COZ vehicles automatically go slow....
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
History Teacher : From where to where did the mughals rule ? Student: Sir, I am not sure but I think from page 15 to 26.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: What kind of food does a race horse eat? A: Fast food
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
hey listen she asked me u r details...so i gave her u r cell number. so she will meet u soon.... her name is smile.... i think she came.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
2day, 2morrow & 4ever, there will be 1 heart that would always beat 4 u. U know whose?? YOUR OWN
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Heartbeats are countless .... Spirits are ageless .... Dreams are endless..... Memories are timeless.... A friend like you ....... Shameless!!!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Museum administrator: That's a 500 year old statue you've broken. Banta Singh: Thank God! I thought it was a new one!
GIRL : I think the poorest people are the happiest. BOY : Then marry me and we'll be the happiest couple
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I want to share Everything with you. Your JOYS, Your SADNESS, Your HAPPY MOMENTS Every single second of day Let us START with your ATM Password first.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Dating process: 6 weeks : I love U, I love U, I love U. 6 months : Of course I love U. 6 years : GOD, if I didn't love U, then why the * did I propose?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
There is always a "DRIVE SLOW" board near boy's schools, but n ot near girl's college.. Why? COZ vehicles automatically go slow....
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
History Teacher : From where to where did the mughals rule ? Student: Sir, I am not sure but I think from page 15 to 26.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Q: What kind of food does a race horse eat? A: Fast food
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
hey listen she asked me u r details...so i gave her u r cell number. so she will meet u soon.... her name is smile.... i think she came.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
2day, 2morrow & 4ever, there will be 1 heart that would always beat 4 u. U know whose?? YOUR OWN
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Heartbeats are countless .... Spirits are ageless .... Dreams are endless..... Memories are timeless.... A friend like you ....... Shameless!!!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Museum administrator: That's a 500 year old statue you've broken. Banta Singh: Thank God! I thought it was a new one!
15 Jan 2007 00:17
Post 44 of 55
Replying to [Deepali]:
TRUE STORY!
When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity.
To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300 C.
The Russians used a pencil.
![[em1]](http://img.alibaba.com/images/eng/style/icon/emoticons_smile.gif)
TRUE STORY!
When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity.
To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300 C.
The Russians used a pencil.
SIGNATURE:
About Our Company
WORLDWIDE TECHNOLOGIES
We are exclusive importers and exporters of many innovative hi-tech products covering following streams:
Surveillance & Counter Surveillance Solutions,
Security, Safety & Surveillance Products,
Innovative ...
More
15 Jan 2007 00:33
Post 45 of 55
Replying to [Braham S Aggarwal]:
The Dr says" Mr. Smith I am sorry to tell you that you have only 2 weeks left to live." Mr Smith starts to cry but then gets control of himself and says, " Thats terrible news and I am sorry to say at this time I can't afford to pay your fee." The doctor thinks for a moment and says, " Ok Ok I will give you 6 months to live."
The Dr says" Mr. Smith I am sorry to tell you that you have only 2 weeks left to live." Mr Smith starts to cry but then gets control of himself and says, " Thats terrible news and I am sorry to say at this time I can't afford to pay your fee." The doctor thinks for a moment and says, " Ok Ok I will give you 6 months to live."
15 Jan 2007 01:03
Post 46 of 55
The Super Computer stood at the end of the Computer Company's production line. At which point the guided tour eventually arrived. The salesman stepped forward to give his prepared demo.
"This", he said, "is the Super Computer. It will give an intelligent answer to any question you may care to ask it".
At which a Clever Guest stepped forward - there is always one - and spoke into the Computer's microphone.
"Where is my father?" he asked.
There was a whirring of wheels and flashing of lights that the manufacturers always use to impress lay people, and then a little card popped out.
On it were printed the words: Fishing off Goa.
Clever Guest laughed.
"Actually", he said, "My father is dead"!
It had been a tricky question! The salesman, carefully chosen for his ability to think fast on his feet, immediately replied that he was sorry the answer was unsatisfactory, but as computers were precise, perhaps he might care to rephrase his question and try again?
Clever Guest thought, went to the Computer and this time said, "Where is my mother's husband?"
Again there was a whirring of wheels and a flashing of lights. And again a little card popped out. Printed on it were the words, "Dead. But your father is still fishing off Goa."
"This", he said, "is the Super Computer. It will give an intelligent answer to any question you may care to ask it".
At which a Clever Guest stepped forward - there is always one - and spoke into the Computer's microphone.
"Where is my father?" he asked.
There was a whirring of wheels and flashing of lights that the manufacturers always use to impress lay people, and then a little card popped out.
On it were printed the words: Fishing off Goa.
Clever Guest laughed.
"Actually", he said, "My father is dead"!
It had been a tricky question! The salesman, carefully chosen for his ability to think fast on his feet, immediately replied that he was sorry the answer was unsatisfactory, but as computers were precise, perhaps he might care to rephrase his question and try again?
Clever Guest thought, went to the Computer and this time said, "Where is my mother's husband?"
Again there was a whirring of wheels and a flashing of lights. And again a little card popped out. Printed on it were the words, "Dead. But your father is still fishing off Goa."
15 Jan 2007 01:26
Post 47 of 55
Replying to [kivi]: Fishing Licence
Banta was carrying a large fish in a bucket of water away from a lake, which was well known for its excellent fishing when a Fishery officer stopped him.
The officer says, "Do you have a fishing license?"
Banta replies, "Don't need a license, this is my pet fish."
"Pet fish?" the officer asked.
Banta answers, "Yes, every night I take my fish down to the lake and let him swim around for a while, then I whistle and he jumps up on shore and I put him in his bucket and we go back home."
"That's a bunch of baloney, fish can't do that."
Banta looks at the officer and says, "You want me to show you?"
Very curious now, the officer says, "O.K. I've got to see this"
Banta pours the fish into the lake then stands there waiting.
After a few minutes, the officer turns to Banta and says, "Well?"
"Well, What?" Banta says.
The Officer asks, "Are you going to call your fish back?"
"Fish! What fish?" Banta responds.
![[em3]](http://img.alibaba.com/images/eng/style/icon/emoticons_grin.gif)
Banta was carrying a large fish in a bucket of water away from a lake, which was well known for its excellent fishing when a Fishery officer stopped him.
The officer says, "Do you have a fishing license?"
Banta replies, "Don't need a license, this is my pet fish."
"Pet fish?" the officer asked.
Banta answers, "Yes, every night I take my fish down to the lake and let him swim around for a while, then I whistle and he jumps up on shore and I put him in his bucket and we go back home."
"That's a bunch of baloney, fish can't do that."
Banta looks at the officer and says, "You want me to show you?"
Very curious now, the officer says, "O.K. I've got to see this"
Banta pours the fish into the lake then stands there waiting.
After a few minutes, the officer turns to Banta and says, "Well?"
"Well, What?" Banta says.
The Officer asks, "Are you going to call your fish back?"
"Fish! What fish?" Banta responds.
15 Jan 2007 01:35
Post 48 of 55
Replying to [Ammeet]: So sad he lost his pet![[em8]](http://img.alibaba.com/images/eng/style/icon/emoticons_cry.gif)
. Police the world over seem to be the same.
. Police the world over seem to be the same.
16 Jan 2007 02:52
Post 49 of 55
Marriage is like . . . a CELL PHONE!!!
Dear Husband,
Treat me like your cell phone:
1. Always have me in mind
2. Never leave me behind
3. Respond when I speak to you
4. Make sure I'm always in a safe, good place
5. Give me a listening ear
6. Care to know where I am
7. Take time to renew our contract periodically
8. Cash in on those free minutes
9. Remember to recharge when I'm low.
10. And always remember to add money when needed
Dear Wife,
No problem, I will, if you promise to be like one:
1. Talk to me with respect
2. Always begin with a nice happy melody
3. Wait patiently until I have time to listen to you
4. Always be there for me to remind me about my appointments
to wake me and to remember my phone numbers
5. Don't get angry or insulted when I choose to delete some of your messages
6. Don't forget my messages
7. Make sure to stick to all the conditions in our contract
8. Continue services even if not all conditions are met on my part
9. Start each day with full energy regardless of how low you ran on the previous day
10. Start fresh when money is added
17 Jan 2007 12:21
Post 50 of 55
Replying to [Ammeet]:
I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off ? He's all right now.
The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.
The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.
Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.
We'll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply.
When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U C L A
The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it
The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground
The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.
A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.
I fell through a screen door and strained myself
I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
Police were called to a day care where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off ? He's all right now.
The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.
The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.
A thief fell and broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.
Thieves who steal corn from a garden could be charged with stalking.
We'll never run out of math teachers because they always multiply.
When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U C L A
The math professor went crazy with the blackboard. He did a number on it
The professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground
The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
If you take a laptop computer for a run you could jog your memory.
A dentist and a manicurist fought tooth and nail.
I fell through a screen door and strained myself
18 Jan 2007 12:36
Post 51 of 55
Replying to [kivi]:One guy goes to a popular GYM in Bangalore sees an ad for a new gym guaranteeing to reduce anyone's weight by 5, 10 or 20 kilograms on the first day. So he goes and tells them he wants to lose 5 kg. They lead him into a huge gym with all kinds of ropes and parallel bars and ladders and tell him to wait a minute.
He's standing there when on the far side of the gym a door opens and
out steps a beautiful girl, with a sign saying
"If you catch me, I'm yours."
He starts running, and just as he gets close, she starts picking up
speed.
Before he knows it, he's running all over the gym, up the ladders, down the ladders, across the parallel bars, here and there. And just as he's about to catch the blonde, pop, she disappears through a door. In comes the management who lead him to the showers, and then weigh him. Sure enough, he lost exactly 5 kg.
He's back on the street and starts to think.
" I was so close to catching her. If I had a little more time..."
So he races back to the gym and says, "I want to lose 20 more kg."
"No problem," says the manager.
Again he is led to the large gym. This time he's standing by the door
when it opens. Out comes a Gorilla with a sign.
"If I catch you, you're mine."
He's standing there when on the far side of the gym a door opens and
out steps a beautiful girl, with a sign saying
"If you catch me, I'm yours."
He starts running, and just as he gets close, she starts picking up
speed.
Before he knows it, he's running all over the gym, up the ladders, down the ladders, across the parallel bars, here and there. And just as he's about to catch the blonde, pop, she disappears through a door. In comes the management who lead him to the showers, and then weigh him. Sure enough, he lost exactly 5 kg.
He's back on the street and starts to think.
" I was so close to catching her. If I had a little more time..."
So he races back to the gym and says, "I want to lose 20 more kg."
"No problem," says the manager.
Again he is led to the large gym. This time he's standing by the door
when it opens. Out comes a Gorilla with a sign.
"If I catch you, you're mine."
18 Jan 2007 17:15