Jokes for you... Hope & Wish your day start with smiles.
Post 12 of 55
Replying to [HUANGYI778]:
One More for you...
Jack goes to the doctor and says "Doc, I ache all over. Every where I touch it hurts."
The doc says "Ok, touch your elbow."
Jack touches his elbow and winces in genuine pain.
The doc, surprised,says "touch your head."
Jack touches his head and jumps in agony.
The doc asks him to touch his knee and the same thing happens.
Every where Jack touches it hurts like *.
The doc is stumped and orders a complete examination with X-rays etc... and tells Jack to come back after two days.
Two days later Jack comes back and the doctor says, "We've found your problem..."
Jack Ask : "Oh yeah? what is it ?"
Doctor replies : 'You've broken your finger!'
One More for you...
Jack goes to the doctor and says "Doc, I ache all over. Every where I touch it hurts."
The doc says "Ok, touch your elbow."
Jack touches his elbow and winces in genuine pain.
The doc, surprised,says "touch your head."
Jack touches his head and jumps in agony.
The doc asks him to touch his knee and the same thing happens.
Every where Jack touches it hurts like *.
The doc is stumped and orders a complete examination with X-rays etc... and tells Jack to come back after two days.
Two days later Jack comes back and the doctor says, "We've found your problem..."
Jack Ask : "Oh yeah? what is it ?"
Doctor replies : 'You've broken your finger!'
09 Jan 2007 23:13
Post 13 of 55
Replying to [Deepali]:
An elderly Punjabi admitted to the intensive care department of a hospital requested that he take lessons in French. The doctor was puzzled and asked him why.
"Well, French is the language of heaven," he sighed. "I want to be able to communicate with everyone in heaven if I die."
"But how are you so sure that you will end up in heaven? You might go to *. What good will French do you then?" asked the doctor.
"That will no problem. I am fluent in Punjabi."
An elderly Punjabi admitted to the intensive care department of a hospital requested that he take lessons in French. The doctor was puzzled and asked him why.
"Well, French is the language of heaven," he sighed. "I want to be able to communicate with everyone in heaven if I die."
"But how are you so sure that you will end up in heaven? You might go to *. What good will French do you then?" asked the doctor.
"That will no problem. I am fluent in Punjabi."
09 Jan 2007 23:24
Post 14 of 55
Replying to [HUANGYI778]:
Howcome noses run and feet smell?
Howcome noses run and feet smell?
10 Jan 2007 02:06
![[em37]](http://img.alibaba.com/images/eng/style/icon/emoticons_cheers.gif){kind=icon}
Post 16 of 55
Replying to [Braham S Aggarwal]:
Did I read that sign right?
TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW
In a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT
In a London department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS
In an office:
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN
In an office:
AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD
Outside a secondhand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?
Notice in health food shop window:
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS
Spotted in a safari park:
ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR &nb sp;
Seen during a conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1 ST FLOOR
Notice e in a farmer's field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD, FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.
Message on a leaflet:
IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS
On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)
Did I read that sign right?
TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW
In a Laundromat:
AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT
In a London department store:
BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS
In an office:
WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN
In an office:
AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD
Outside a secondhand shop:
WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?
Notice in health food shop window:
CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS
Spotted in a safari park:
ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR &nb sp;
Seen during a conference:
FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE 1 ST FLOOR
Notice e in a farmer's field:
THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD, FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL CHARGES.
Message on a leaflet:
IF YOU CANNOT READ, THIS LEAFLET WILL TELL YOU HOW TO GET LESSONS
On a repair shop door:
WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T WORK)
10 Jan 2007 12:52
Post 17 of 55
Replying to [Ammeet]:
Oxford Dictionary's latest definition of the following words
Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool on the other.
Classic : A book, which people praise, but do not read.
Committee : Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
Criminal : A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught.
Dictionary : A place where success comes before work.
Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to * in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
Divorce: Future tense of marriage.
Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.
Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.
Father: A banker provided by nature.
Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through the minds of either.
Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
Opportunist : A person who starts taking baths if he accidentally falls into a river.
Optimist: A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."
Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.
Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
Oxford Dictionary's latest definition of the following words
Atom Bomb: An invention to end all inventions.
Boss : Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
Cigarette : A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire at one end & a fool on the other.
Classic : A book, which people praise, but do not read.
Committee : Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
Compromise : The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
Conference : The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
Conference Room : A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
Criminal : A guy no different from the rest... except that he got caught.
Dictionary : A place where success comes before work.
Diplomat : A person who tells you to go to * in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.
Divorce: Future tense of marriage.
Doctor : A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills you with his bills.
Etc. : A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.
Father: A banker provided by nature.
Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through the minds of either.
Miser: A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.
Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
Opportunist : A person who starts taking baths if he accidentally falls into a river.
Optimist: A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in midway "See I am not injured yet."
Philosopher : A fool who torments himself during life, to be spoken of when dead.
Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine waterpower.
Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Yawn : The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
10 Jan 2007 12:57
Post 18 of 55
Replying to [kivi]:
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10 Jan 2007 23:47
Post 19 of 55
Replying to [Braham S Aggarwal]: I didn't realize how kind you were .
touching.
touching.
11 Jan 2007 02:28
Post 20 of 55
Replying to [Braham S Aggarwal]:
Question: How can you tell if a politician is lieing?
Answer If his lips are moveing.
Question: How can you tell if a politician is lieing?
Answer If his lips are moveing.
11 Jan 2007 02:36
Post 21 of 55
Replying to [Braham S Aggarwal]:
Have you ever seen an elephant hide behind a daisy?
if not
that means they hide very well.
Have you ever seen an elephant hide behind a daisy?
if not
that means they hide very well.
11 Jan 2007 05:24