Time To LAUGH

Teacher to Santa " Where were U born?
Santa : In Tiruvanantapuram.
Teacher : Spell it?
Santa : (after thinking) I think I was born in GOA.

==================================================Santa : People consider me as a "GOD"
Banta : How do you know??
Santa : When I went to the Park today, everybody said, Oh GOD ! U have came again..
==================================================Santa complained 2 Police : Sir all items are missing, except the TV in my house.
Police : How the theif did not take TV???
Santa : I was watching TV na....
==================================================Thought for the Day!!!

If you call your mother as MUM.. What will you call Mother's younger sis and elder sis?
Answer : MINIMUM & MAXIMUM
==================================================When do you congratulate someone for their Mistake?
Answer : On their Wedding !!

Replying to [Ammeet]:

I hape Rizzob must have read the same especially the last one.



Few more for you
------------ --------- --------- --------- ---------
Husband:"Darling years ago u had a figure like a Coke bottle."
Wife:"Yes darling I still do but the only difference is earlier it was300ml and now it's 1.5 liter.
------------ --------- --------- --------- ---------
Explain The word
"AUTOMATICALLY"
....Nahe pata
i'll xplain...
ager koi ganji ladki
auto mein bethi **
to use kehte hain
auto_mein_takli
------------ --------- --------- --------- ---------
.
------------ --------- --------- --------- ---------
I was cooking chicken.When added palak in it,the chicken stood up and started dancing and saying"Hum pe yeh kis ne hara rang dala,maar dala,Allah maar dala.
------------ --------- --------- --------- ---------

Once upon a time there was a shepherd looking after his sheep on the side of a deserted road. Suddenly a brand new Porsche screeches to a halt.

The driver, a man dressed in an Armani suit, Cerutti shoes, Ray-Ban sungl , TAG-Heuer wrist-watch, and a Pierre Cardin tie, gets out and asks the shepherd: "If I can tell you how many sheep you have, will you give me one of them?"

The shepherd looks at the young man, and then looks at the large flock of grazing sheep and replies: "Okay." The young man parks the car, connects his laptop to the mobile-fax, enters a NASA Webster, scans the ground using his GPS, opens a database and 60 Excel tables filled with logarithms and pivot tables, then prints out a 150 page report on his high-tech mini-printer. He turns to the shepherd and says, "You have exactly 1,586 sheep here."

The shepherd cheers, "That's correct, you can have your sheep." The young man makes his pick and puts it in the back of his Porsche. The shepherd looks at him and asks: "If I guess your profession, will you return my animal to me?" The young man answers, "Yes, why not?" The shepherd says, "You are an IT consultant."

"How did you know?" asks the young man.

"Very simple," answers the shepherd. "First, you came here without being called. Second, you charged me a fee to tell me something I already knew, and third, you don't understand anything about my business... Now can I have my dog back?" .............

Replying to [Ammeet]:Thanks Ammeet, for the comic relief from tense and terse oneupmanship of postings on topics.
Keep it up
Sixer

Replying to [Braham S Aggarwal]
Braham,
FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!! I am just letting you know that i HAVE to steal this one!
Thanks,
Foow

Replying to [Braham S Aggarwal] Very good! A golden oldie.

Replying to [Ammeet]:

Q: Why do female black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
A: To stop the snoring before it starts.

Replying to [Braham S Aggarwal]:Good joke. I "sell" it to my friends.

Replying to [Braham S Aggarwal]:Braham, Its great

Replying to [Foow] [sixer] [kivi] [iulianap] :

Thanks for appreciation. It has inspired me to post more such. Do reply here if you want more.



Be careful while typing the email address:

A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter. They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier. Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel plans. So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day. The husband checked into the hotel. There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife. However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without realizing his error, sent the email.

Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral. He was a minister who was called home to glory following a heart attack. The widow decided to check her email expecting messages from relatives and friends. After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted. The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor, and saw the computer screen which read:

To: My loving wife

Subject: I've arrived Date: April 6, 2006

I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones. I've just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then. Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.

P.S. sure is freaking hot down here!!!!!

Replying to [Ammeet]:Thanks for your jokes and i kept smiling all the day