Why 'You Look Great' Doesn't Translate in China?
Post 1 of 4
Shortly after I arrived in the U.S., I felt great about myself. Many of my professors at Columbia University's Journalism School wrote "well done!" or "nice job" on my assignments. That was music to the ears of a foreign student who felt like a fool most of the time in a new environment. And it was also the first time in my life had I gotten so much positive feedback for anything I did.
Before long, I found that the professors made those same sort of comments to many other students. If everybody got the same comments, what was the point? I'd rather have had them tell me what mistakes I made and how I could improve.
Lindsey Pollack, author of "Getting From College to Career" and an expert on Gen-Y, speaks with WSJ.com's Li Yuan about the American obsession with compliments. (March 4)
Paula Span, my feature-writing professor and a writer at The Washington Post magazine at that time, told me that she liked the first story I wrote for the class. I didn't believe her, thinking she meant it to be encouraging. For a whole semester, I never believed her. At least, until that story, after much editing by Paula, was published by Newsday as the cover story of its weekend feature section and Paula gave me one of the two top marks in her class. I also got an honors grade from my business reporting and writing class.
Finally, I believed that I must have done something right, and the compliments Americans handed out so easily must have really meant something.
Traditional Chinese wisdom holds that we will lose our motivation to succeed if we're satisfied with ourselves and not worried about our future all the time. We are taught to be modest and not to hold our head too high in front of others.
When you greet Chinese with "how are you?" the answer is likely to be something akin to "just getting by." Chinese parents may be generous in saying nice things about other people's children, but most avoid praising their own children directly to guard against arrogance and self-conceit. At school, teachers may praise a good student in front of the whole class but rarely in person. In the office, young professionals aren't looking for thank-you notes. They often feel lucky for not getting yelled at by managers. As a result, Chinese tend to be driven and hard-working but some of them may not be as confident as their American counterparts.
Americans, on the other hand, always try to project optimism and confidence. Ask them, "how are you?" you'll probably hear "great," "good" or at least "fine." "OK" isn't even considered upbeat enough. And it's not just that. Many Americans are also willing to make an effort to make others feel good. "You look great today," is a default greeting for many people. Even when a manager summons staff into the office to discuss things not done properly, the conversation is likely to start with what the employee had done right. Self-assured Americans dare to ask any question and try anything. But some of them are reluctant to blame themselves when things go wrong.
As I looked deeper into America's tendency to heap on the praise, I discovered it's a fairly recent phenomenon and pretty much of a generational thing. I asked a few Americans what it was like when they were growing up, and it sounded more like China. Mike Austin, a 64-year-old businessman in Cambridge, Mass., said when he was growing up "praise at home was always low-key, even if the bar was set high and the performance very good." Amy Reed, a 42-year-old editor in Knoxville, Tenn., remembered that at her school, they got awards only when they actually placed in the top three and showed real skill or talent. But, at her children's school, everyone got a ribbon for participating in the science fair, regardless of whether the exhibit was any good. And at a gymnastics event, everyone got a trophy just for participating.
Her children's generation -- Generation Y -- exemplifies how far the culture of praise has gone. Gen-Y kids have grown up hearing -- both at home and school --special and unique each one of them is. They're praised for everything. Some say this is a generation that wants to be praised for getting up every morning.
He said that the level of praise overall in workplaces is higher than it used to be, and the level of criticism is lower. "I think this is partly because of fear of lawsuits for criticism (the risks are now higher for truly abusive bosses) and partly because praise and "upbeatness" in general are currently the "in" way to manage," he said.
Even some of the Gen-Y members aren't happy with excessive praise. Joseph James Chung, a 25-year-old consultant in San Francisco and a state swimming champion in Utah, says that since everybody always gets a reward, "I don't even know what a real reward is." At a previous company, he says, "They're so good at complimenting everybody, that when I actually did really well, they didn't have something left to acknowledge me."
Growing up with strict first-generation immigrant Chinese parents who rarely praised him and his siblings, Mr. Chung believes that he benefited from the mix between the Chinese culture of working hard and never being satisfied and the American culture of always getting awarded. "If I wasn't awarded in what I did, I wouldn't be interested in doing things," he says.
Source From: The Wall Street Journal
05 Mar 2008 20:53
Post 2 of 4
Replying to [sharefen]:Thanks for sharing![[em1]](http://img.alibaba.com/images/eng/style/icon/emoticons_smile.gif)
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05 Mar 2008 22:46
Post 3 of 4
sharefen,
We, the Asian culture differs much from the West, the American and the European's culture.
They are more of the positive reinforcement, the motivation of rewards and praise, while the Oriental culture is not the same, to the extreme, it is always not good enough. In the case of a child scoring 75 % of the grade, getting a B + is not good enough, he is expected to get the A + Distinction. This is the Chinese mentality and it is in the root of the culture, failure is not received as a stepping stone, and the person felt being a loser and rejected as a failure.
On the contrary, the Western culture is more forgiving in the sense of failure, the examples can be seen all over individual personalities. The Captain of the ill fated EXXON VALDEZ which hit an iceberg and caused the worst environmental pollution in the Alaskan coast is now giving lectures to would be Sea Masters. The ex-President involved over a sex scandal with his Secretary is going around campaigning for the office of his wife. As though nothing has happened and is a formidable shadow of this candidate for Presidency.
The Chairman of Hyundai Corporation, involved in a scandal over the Sunshine policy with North Korea. He committed suicide after being indicted with this scandal.
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07 Mar 2008 08:12
![[em19]](http://img.alibaba.com/images/eng/style/icon/emoticons_great.gif){kind=icon}
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