A wealthy investor walked into a bank and said to the bank manager, "I would like to speak with Mr. Reginald Jones, who I understand is a tried and trusted employee of yours."

The banker said, "Yes he certainly was trusted. And he will be tried as soon as we catch him."

Replying to [Big Brother]:

Advance payment

A motorist, driving by a Texas ranch, hit and killed a calf that was crossing the road. The driver went to the owner of the calf and explained what had happened. He then asked what the animal was worth.

"Oh, about $200 today," said the rancher. "But in six years it would have been worth $900. So $900 is what I'm out."

The motorist sat down and wrote out a check and handed it to the farmer.

"Here," he said, "is the check for $900. It's postdated six years from now."

How the became a leader

The eyes, the mouth, the legs and the hands were arguing about who should become the leader. All of them agreed that one of them should lead.

The Eye said he should be appointed as the leader as without him they will live in total darkness.

The mouth said; with me all of you will die of thirst and starvation.

The leg say; Without me you are not going anywhere.

The hand said, I should be the leader as I have the power to carry every thing.

The said; I should be your leader and before he could finish, the rest said in unison; shutup! . The was deeply hurt and kept quiet.

Days, weeks and months went by and they couldn't come up with the decision.

They lived in total darkness as the eyes just would not want to see anything,

They couldn't go anywhere as the legs refused to move.

They were hungry and tired as the mouth refused to eat and the hands refused to carry anything.

Finally, they decided to call a truce a to decide on a leader at a later date.

So everybody went back to work and they became normal again.
They could see the beautiful world, eat what they want and go where they want.

Then the said to them, Now, do I get to become your leader?" If the answer is no, I shall carry on my strike and will not do my work.

Days and months went by and then, finally, they gave up.

Everyone agreed and the asrsehole became their leader.

Replying to [Big Brother]:A Policeman pulls over a Van full of Catholic Nuns. (Sometimes called “Sister”)

Cop: "Sister, this is a 65 MPH highway -- why are you going so SLOW?"

Catholic Nun: "Officer, I think you are mistaken, I saw a lot of signs that said 22, not 65."

Cop: "Oh sister, that's not the speed limit, that's the NAME of the highway you're driving on!

Catholic Nun: Oh! Heavenly Father forgive us! Thank you officer for letting me know. I'll be more careful.




At this point the Police officer looks in the backseat where the all of the other Catholic Nuns are crying, clinging to one another, shaking, and pale white.








Cop: Excuse me, Sister; what is wrong with the Catholic Nuns back there? They look terrified and are shaking terribly.



Catholic Nun: Oh, don’t mind them, for the last hour we were driving on Highway 119.